some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sobbing to NWA
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
