at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
