I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
did i just pee glitter
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
