is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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