On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
