You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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