just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
