Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wish I only lived at night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize