i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
do nipples grow back?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
