Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
