I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think a kid would responsible me up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I need to align my fucking chakras
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
