After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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