I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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