He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
