the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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