Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
