Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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