i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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