Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
