I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
