Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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