At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You took a bar mat shot.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
