my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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