a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she looked like the before picture.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did we literally take a cab across the street
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
