Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
