No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
