At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Found the puke drawer
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
