It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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