I just pynch a tree in the face
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
