I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
