I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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