Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize