My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
