why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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