I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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