Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
