Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
