just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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