I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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