so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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