Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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