just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
