I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize