So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
