i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
