It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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