i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
