I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
