i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize