I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
