why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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