im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
