I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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