And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
