He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
