Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
