Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
