Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize