I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
