I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he thought i was a dude.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
