I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
