i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
