walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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