you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
