I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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