please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
