yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
