I'm jealous of your bromance
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
