I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
