I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
