Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
