i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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