Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize