haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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