wat bout pragnant strippers??
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
