I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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