You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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