just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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