i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think people are normalizing furries
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
