then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
