so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
