Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
