i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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