the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
