You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
