You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
