Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
