nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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