Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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