he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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