i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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