Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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