Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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