last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
