if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
