dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
