Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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